The Scholar Who Wiped a Ghost's Mouth with Toilet Paper / 许南金不畏鬼
When Good Conscience Meets Bad Manners
From Notes from the Thatched Study (阅微草堂笔记), Volume VI — Luanyang Summer Records, Part VI
By Ji Yun (纪昀, 1724–1805) · Translated with annotations
Two giant glowing eyes appeared in the wall while he was studying. His friend nearly died of fright. He just said: "Great, I needed light to read."
The Story
Xu Nanjin of Nanpi was the bravest man I ever heard of.
He was studying at a Buddhist monastery. One night he was sharing a bed with a fellow student when, at the depth of midnight, he saw two torches suddenly blaze on the northern wall. Looking more closely, he realized it was a face emerging from the wall — wide as a winnowing basket[1]Winnowing basket (簸箕, bòjī): A large, flat, woven tray used in traditional Chinese agriculture to separate grain from chaff. "Wide as a winnowing basket" is Ji Yun's way of saying the face filled most of the wall — an uncomfortably large ghost., with those two torches being its eyes.
His friend nearly died of fright.
Xu Nanjin calmly put on his robe. "I was just wishing I had better light to read by," he said. "You're most welcome."
He picked up a book, turned his back to the wall, and began reading aloud. Before he'd finished a few pages, the two torch-eyes dimmed. He patted the wall and called out to it — but nothing came.
A few nights later, he was using the latrine, a young servant holding a candle for him. That same face burst out of the ground right in front of them, grinning.
The servant dropped the candle and collapsed.
Xu Nanjin picked up the candle and set it on top of the ghost's head. "The candle needs a stand," he said. "You're most welcome."
The ghost looked up at him, unmoving.
Xu Nanjin said: "You could go anywhere. Why here? There's an old story in the Lüshi Chunqiu about a man who chased after foul smells[2]Lüshi Chunqiu (吕氏春秋, Master Lü's Spring and Autumn Annals): Compiled around 239 BCE, this is one of the earliest comprehensive encyclopedias of Chinese thought, covering philosophy, agriculture, military strategy, and political theory. The reference here is to a parable about "a man who pursued foul smells" (逐臭之夫) — someone so accustomed to bad odor that they actually seek it out. Xu is implying the ghost has terrible taste in locations. — is that you? I can't let your visit go to waste." And with that, he picked up a piece of soiled paper and wiped the ghost's mouth.
The ghost heaved. It let out a few tremendous roars, blew out the candle, and vanished.
It never came back.
Xu Nanjin used to say: "Ghosts and demons are real — I see them all the time. But if you audit your own life and find nothing you've done that you couldn't face them with, then your heart never wavers."[3]"Audit your own life" (检点生平): This is the philosophical heart of the story. Jiǎndiǎn (检点) literally means to check, inventory, or examine — like counting stock in a warehouse. Xu's point is that genuine fearlessness comes not from courage in the abstract, but from a clear conscience: if you have nothing to hide, no one — living or dead — has power over you. It's a Confucian idea dressed up as a ghost story.
Translator's Reflection
The first time I read this, I laughed. The image of a Qing dynasty scholar casually wiping a ghost's mouth with toilet paper — that's not a ghost story. That's a comedy. And Ji Yun clearly knew it. The pacing of the whole thing is engineered for the punchline: the ghost bursts out of the ground, the servant faints, and Xu just picks up the candle and goes about his evening like nothing happened.
What stops this from being just a funny party trick is that last line. It's not about bravery in the sword-fighting sense. It's not about knowing secret incantations or having Daoist powers. It's about auditing your life. If you've got nothing to hide from your own conscience, a ghost is just an annoying stranger with poor timing.
I think the reason this works so well is that Xu never engages on the ghost's terms. He doesn't scream. He doesn't flee. He doesn't perform an exorcism. He just — talks to it. Like it's a person who showed up at a bad time. The ghost has absolutely no script for that. It came to scare him, and instead it got called out for bad manners and personal hygiene. That's not courage. That's social intelligence at a supernatural level.
On a second read, I noticed something quieter: the first ghost retreats after a few pages of reading. Xu's response to terror was to turn around and do exactly what he was already doing. That's a different kind of nerve than the dramatic kind. The latrine scene is bravado. The reading scene is just — steadiness. Ji Yun gives us both, back to back, and they're not quite the same thing.
Next tale: TBD — more strange encounters from Qing dynasty China. → [Coming soon]
📜 Original Text in Classical Chinese · 文言原文
南皮许南金先生，最有胆。在僧寺读书，与一友共榻。夜半，见北壁燃双炬。谛视，乃一人面出壁中，大如箕，双炬其目光也。友股栗欲死。先生披衣徐起曰："正欲读书，苦烛尽。君来甚善。"乃携一册背之坐，诵声琅琅。未数页，目光渐隐；拊壁呼之，不出矣。又一夕如厕，一小童持烛随。此面突自地涌出，对之而笑。童掷烛仆地。先生即拾置怪顶，曰："烛正无台，君来又甚善。"怪仰视不动。先生曰："君何处不可往，乃在此间？海上有逐臭之夫，君其是乎？不可辜君来意。"即以秽纸拭其口。怪大呕吐，狂吼数声，灭烛而没。自是不复见。先生尝曰："鬼魅皆真有之，亦时或见之。惟检点生平，无不可对鬼魅者，则此心自不动耳。"
Source: 《阅微草堂笔记·滦阳消夏录六》 — Public domain.
🏛️ Historical Context · 历史背景
Xu Nanjin — A Scholar Without Fear
Very little is known about Xu Nanjin (许南金) of Nanpi (南皮, modern-day Hebei province) outside of this story. He appears in no official Qing dynasty biographies, and Ji Yun gives no further context — unusual, given how specific he usually is about his sources. This may mean Xu was a real figure known in local oral tradition but not prominent enough to appear in the formal record. What Ji Yun preserves here is the reputation: a scholar so consistently unshakable that the ghost community eventually gave up on him.
Luanyang Xiaoxia Lu — Volume VI
This tale comes from the sixth and final section of Luanyang Xiaoxia Lu (滦阳消夏录), the first volume of Notes from the Thatched Study. The work was compiled around 1789 during Ji Yun's summer retreat in Luanyang (modern Chengde, Hebei). By the time he reached Volume VI, Ji Yun had been collecting strange tales for years and had settled into a confident, conversational voice — mixing skepticism and belief with the ease of a man who had stopped caring whether you believed him.
The Ghost as Rude Visitor
Chinese ghost folklore is full of spectral etiquette — ghosts who appear because they were wronged, because they seek vengeance, because they are bound by unfinished business. But the ghost in this story has no obvious grievance. It just shows up twice — once at night, once at the latrine — and grins. Xu's response treats it as exactly what it is: an uninvited guest with poor timing. The humor depends on treating the supernatural as a social breach, not a metaphysical threat. That reframing — from horror to rudeness — is what disarms it.
Winnowing basket (簸箕, bòjī): A large, flat, woven tray used in traditional Chinese agriculture to separate grain from chaff. "Wide as a winnowing basket" is Ji Yun's way of saying the face filled most of the wall — an uncomfortably large ghost. ↩
Lüshi Chunqiu (吕氏春秋, Master Lü's Spring and Autumn Annals): Compiled around 239 BCE, this is one of the earliest comprehensive encyclopedias of Chinese thought, covering philosophy, agriculture, military strategy, and political theory. The reference here is to a parable about "a man who pursued foul smells" (逐臭之夫) — someone so accustomed to bad odor that they actually seek it out. Xu is implying the ghost has terrible taste in locations. ↩
"Audit your own life" (检点生平): This is the philosophical heart of the story. Jiǎndiǎn (检点) literally means to check, inventory, or examine — like counting stock in a warehouse. Xu's point is that genuine fearlessness comes not from courage in the abstract, but from a clear conscience: if you have nothing to hide, no one — living or dead — has power over you. It's a Confucian idea dressed up as a ghost story. ↩